TWO - COW THEORY

REFRESHMENT: A CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your neighbor. A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor. A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what? A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for being successful. You vote people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax. The people you voted for then take the tax money and buy a cow and give it to your neighbor. You feel righteous. A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides you with milk. A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the milk. You join the underground and start a campaign of sabotage. DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government. CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows. BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the milk down the drain. AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead. A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you don't know what a cow looks like. You take a nap. A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others. A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American corporation declares bankruptcy. AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.

COOL INSULTS PART 1

REFRESHMENTS: 1. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental! 2. Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion? 3. As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? 4. I'd like to kick you in the teeth, but why should I improve your looks? 5. At least there's one thing good about your body. It isn't as ugly as your face! 6. Brains aren't everything. In fact, in your case they're nothing. 7. Careful now, don't let your brains go to your head! 8. I like you. People say I've no taste, but I like you. 9. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home? 10. If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents! 11. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent! 12. Don't get insulted, but is your job devoted to spreading ignorance? 13. Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent! 14. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you? 15. Don't think, it may sprain your brain! 16. Fellows like you don't grow from trees; they swing from them. 17. He has a mechanical mind. Too bad he forgot to wind it up this morning. 18. He has a mind like a steel trap-always closed! 19. You are a man of the world-and you know what sad shape the world is in. 20. He is always lost in thought-it's unfamiliar territory.

GRE WORDS 567-568

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX TEMPESTUOUS: ■ adj. stormy, turbulent;(of the elements) as if showing violent anger. eg. It was a wild, tempestuous night toward the close of November. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

TEMPO: ■ noun (music) The speed at which a composition is to be played;rhythm, beat. The rate of some repeating event. (synonym) pace (hypernym) rate eg.A fine landscape is like a piece of music; it must be taken at the right tempo.

GRE WORDS 565-566

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get CHAUFFEUR: ■ noun A man paid to drive a privately owned car. ■ verb Drive someone in a vehicle. eg.The chauffeur waited in the car during the business meeting. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

ZEAL:

■ noun

Excitement; fervor, passion;

eg.He had an absolute zeal for litigation.

GRE WORDS 563-564

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get TANTRUM: ■ noun Fit of ill-temper, outburst of rage . eg.The toddler threw a tantrum when he didn't get a sucker. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

TRENCHERMAN: ■ noun A person who is devoted to eating and drinking to excess. (synonym) glutton, gourmand (hypernym) eater, feeder eg. However Caroline is a good trencherman and soon regained her weight loss and is back to her usual seven stone.

GRE WORDS 561-562

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get NOSTRUM: ■ noun 1. A medicine whose effectiveness is unproved and whose ingredients are usually secret; a quack remedy. 2. A favorite but usually ineffective remedy for problems or evils. eg.The man touted his miracle nostrum could cure a cold in ten minutes. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads NOISOME: ■ adj. obnoxious; stinky; offensive; unhealthy ;causing or able to cause nausea. eg.Foul breath is noisome.

GRE WORDS 559-560

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get PARSIMONY: ■ noun Extreme care in spending money; reluctance to spend money unnecessarily;Extreme stinginess. eg.His parsimony was one of the biggest sources of his wealth. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads PANOPLY: ■ noun Complete suit of armor, protective body suit; splendid or impressive array. eg. 1. The knight wore his panoply during battle. 2. "a panoply of colorful flags"

GRE WORDS 557-558

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get PALPITATE: ■ verb Beat rapidly, pound (about the heart); tremble, quiver, shiver ,Shake with fast, tremulous movements. eg.Her violent feelings palpitated the young woman's heart. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

PAN: ■ verb 1. Criticize harshly. 2.Move a video camera from one side to the other to capture a panoramic view. eg. 1.The critics panned the performance. 2.The camera panned across the room.

GRE WORDS 555-556

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get LUDICROUS: ■ adj. Ridiculous, comical, absurd, laughable .Broadly or extravagantly humorous; resembling farce. eg.It is ludicrous to call a cottage a mansion. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads LUMINARY: ■ noun A celebrity who is an inspiration to others. eg.He was host to a large gathering of luminaries.

GRE WORDS 553-554

TO BOOKMARK THIS SITE : PRESS CTRL+D GET THE GRE PICTURE DICTIONARY (PICTIONARY) IN YOUR MAILBOX

Click above to get MACERATE: ■ verb 1.To make soft by soaking or steeping in a liquid. 2.To separate into constituents by soaking. 3.To cause to become lean, usually by starvation; emaciate. eg.His winemaker allowed the juice and skins of the white grapes to macerate together overnight before pressing. Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads MESA: ■ noun Land formation with a flat top and steep rock walls (commonly found in the southwest USA and Mexico); flat-topped hill, small plateau (Spanish) eg.The tribe was relatively safe on the mesa but they had to descend into the valley for water.

GRE WORDS 551-552

NUBILE:
  ■ adj. 
of age or adequate physical development for marriage (regarding girls or young women) eg.Newly separated Ginny Tait arrived in Honeycote at around the same time - with very nubile twin daughters and an awful lot of baggage. 















Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads


NATTY: ■ adj. smart, neat, trim (in appearance or dress);Marked by up-to-date in dress and manners eg.Luckily, and importantly, she also looks natty.

GRE WORDS 549-550

 LUMEN: 

 ■ noun 

Unit for measuring the rate at which light is transmitted (Optics); unit of light energy; Cavity, hollow space (Anatomy, Botany) ; 

  eg.In buying the bulbs,she checked not only their power,but also their brightness ,which is measured in lumen.

Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

LUXURIANT:

■ adj. abundant; rich; fertile, growing; magnificent; richly ornamented eg. Within a few short years, brown eroded hills have replaced luxuriant forests in many parts of the country.

GRE WORDS 547-548

QUAFF: 
■ verb Drink with large gulps, drink quickly; drink an alcoholic beverage quickly and cheerfully. To drink largely or luxuriously.
■ noun Alcoholic drink that is consumed quickly; instance of drinking a beverage quickly eg.We spent the whole evening quaffing ale.







Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

LOW: 

■ verb Moo, make a mooing sound (like a cow) ■ noun

Level which is below what is normal; low degree or barometric pressure; something which is low; sound made by a cow, moo. eg.The low of a distant herd was clearly heard by the cowboy.

GRE WORDS 545-546

PANTOMIME: 

  ■ noun 

Mime show, theatrical performance in which one expresses ideas through movement and gestures without speaking ■ verb

Perform a mime show, make a performance in which one expresses ideas through movement and gestures without speaking.

eg.Charlie Chaplin turned pantomime into an art form.



  Also visit Killthegre.blogspot.com for latest verbal threads

PALATIAL:
 ■ adj.

magnificent; palace-like. eg. He lives in a palatial home which no one can dream of.